Crematorium Funerals are Too Clinical!

I think crematorium funerals are too clinical!

There, I said it!

I have been to a fair few funerals, as an attendee and as the officiant and I often find that funerals in the crem are too rigid, clinical, detached, drab, and boring.

There is a time limit, so you must be in and out within a certain time, it's like a conveyer belt of grief. (did you know if the person leading the service goes over the time they have to pay a fine? You can have longer services, which involves paying for a double time slot)

Then there are the pews we sit in, bringing the big reminder of stuffy church pews where we are expected to sit still, be silent and of course, reverent.

Not to mention the often very bland decor in most crematoriums, which contributes to the sad, sad feelings we all undoubtedly bring with us.

Now I know, death of a loved one is sad, of course it is. The grief is overwhelming and all consuming. I am not denying any of that, I know it well! I am also not saying people should be irreverent at funerals, far from it!

I think we should be celebrating our loved ones. We will have more than ample time to grieve, be sad and wallow. And we should. The journey of grief is a long winding one. But when we come together with family, friends, acquaintances to say goodbye to our loved one there should be a freedom to express our emotions freely.

Being able to ugly cry, laugh freely without judgement and celebrate our loved one in a manner which suits the way they lived really makes a difference to the start of our grieving journey.

Celebrate your loved ones!

Being able to do that in community, among our family and friends is a buoy we desperately need during an incredibly tough time. We often only start that when we head to the tea /wake / afterwards, why not start that with the funeral itself?

This is why I am now focusing on doing Life Celebrations. A more relaxed way to come together to celebrate your loved one. Not at a crematorium. At a chosen venue, with chosen times so there's no worry about time limiting your grief. There's no worry about limiting your emotions, ugly crying and all! Where everyone attending can express their love, care, joy and sadness about their loved one.

Not everyone is going to want this, nor should they, we are all different after all. People will still want their crematorium funerals, that is more than okay. But, I know there are many of us out there who want something different either for their own funeral or their loved ones funeral. Let's make that happen!

Get in touch if you'd like to chat through some options for a life celebration.

I would love to hear your thoughts . . . leave me a comment!

T x